I am a personal development and relationship coach, blogger, speaker, and thinker. And if there is one thing I’ve learned it’s how little I know. But what I have learned has changed my life as well as the lives of others. So maybe it can change your life, too. To find out, read and decide for yourself.
In short, it’s not “your way” or “my way” that ultimately matters, but rather “our way” that produces the greatest results and deepest connections. And this is true in both our personal and professional lives.
Life is inherently and inescapably relational. We live with others. The world, in fact, is becoming increasingly more interdependent. But our mindset, as well as our skillset, is failing to keep pace with the challenges this kind of change inevitably creates. Because we can’t live with others, at least not well, if all we care about is ourselves. Unless people matter to us like we matter to ourselves, we will not be able to rise to the challenges of our technology-based society – a society in which we are gradually caring more for machines than we are for each other.
One of man’s greatest thinking errors is that others exist to make our lives happier. People are either helping us to get what we want or are getting in our way. Not only is this perspective deeply flawed, but it significantly limits our ability to connect with each other, to solve life’s problems, to make meaningful contributions, and to experience lasting fulfillment and joy.
In other words, first we learn to live with others, then we learn to live for others. Ultimately, we are happy because we are seeking the happiness of others. And this is just as true of business owners and entrepreneurs as it is for spouses and parents.
The art of being at one, therefore, is a mindset – a mindset that is predicated on the idea that the purpose of life is to do our best, in our own unique way, to improve the lives of others. It isn’t enough to take responsibility for our actions. We must also learn to take responsibility for the impact of our actions. But this is only possible if we are willing to develop our four intelligences: body, mind, heart, and spirit. Indeed, this is only possible if we are willing to value others just as much as we value ourselves.
I’ve noticed an uptick in the personal development world of ‘gurus’ becoming increasingly more comfortable using four-letter words. I guess it’s what the cool kids are doing these days. And I’m not talking about the occasional use of colorful words like hell or damn, but rather the repeated use of,…
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Copyright 2017 Jeremy Ostler. All Rights Reserved.